Sunday, May 16, 2010


I have a confession to make.
Okay, so I admit it.  I'm in LOVE with...

C'mon, do you blame me?  Super cuteness wrapped up in one place!  It's a recipe for trouble!  And these little boogers give me 4 more reasons to shop there!
4 more reasons it's harder to resist!
Now let me give you another...
This girl!
Please don't be fooled by this sweet innocent face.  She's DANGEROUS!  Why, you ask???  She asks me to go.  Did you hear me?  ASKS ME TO GO!!!  What's a mother to do?  I'll tell you...take her sweet innocent daughter to Target what else?!!        
I try to be so good.  I won't go there for days...DAYS I tell ya!  Then...I start getting this funny feeling.  Maybe you get it too.  A feeling like, "I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TARGET IN DAYS!!!"  Do you get that feeling sometimes?  Am I the ONLY one?
I have a theory.
There's a big, HUGE magnet somewhere in that store.

I think it's IN the BULLSEYE.  Think about it!  Huh?  Make sense?  Only...this magnet attracts people!  (Especially ones that look like me and have the name NIKI! ;)  Seriously!  It attracts metal AND people!!!  Those clever Target folks are probably using some type of mind control.  Think about it now.  How many times have you been driving along with a LONG list of errands...when ALL OF A SUDDEN you change course!  Just like that, and you find yourself on your way to TARGET!  Some lame excuse pops in your head.  It doesn't make any sense whatsoever, BUT...IT WORKS! feels SO GOOD!!!  'Cause you're on your way to have a REASON to be going!  So when your hubby calls you on your cell and asks, "what store are you in today?"  You can PROUDLY tell him, "I'm at TARGET, BUT...(fill in the blank here with your lame excuse!)  Works like a charm!!!  Really, I do it all the time and my hubby still loves me!!!  
Here's my latest story in a nutshell...
 Going to a movie night with my Bible study gals (M.O.M.'s group-I Love ya'll!).  On the way, I figure I need some sinus meds.  My solution...TARGET!  Understand?  Let me break it down for you.  It's simple math.  Really!
Girls Movie Night + Sinus Meds + NO CHILDREN, NO, NOT A SINGLE ONE = TARGET
Make sense?  I was on my way to the movie night.  I decided that I needed to buy some sinus medicine.  (I really was suffering from a sinus headache!)  I had no children with me, so I could get in and out so quickly I told myself.  The more I thought about it (BEWARE...they use MIND CONTROL!), the more the car just drove towards's the MAGNET!  THE MAGNET I TELL YOU!  Let me break it down with another math lesson...
DRIVING + BULLSEYE (I'm not going to metion any names here...TARGET)=ATTRACTION & LESS MONEY!!!
Maybe there's a bit of Science going on here too.  I can't explain it.  3O minutes later, I'm walking to the parking lot with at least 3 bags in my hands!  TERRIBLE!  I was just going to watch a movie, People.  A MOVIE!  How does it happen?  Well it all goes back to the MAGNET and MIND CONTROL.  True, it's just my little theory, but I can no longer suffer in silence.  I must tell the world, particularly the women of the world to please BEWARE of this evil beast TARGET!  This sweet, deliciously, super-cute evil beast that I oh-so-love.  It's POWERFUL!!!  Don't go in there, I BEG of you, please!  For the love of your husband, your wallet, your dear sweet children...
WAIT!  Those are all GREAT reasons to go...oh no, stop!  Wait, to TARGET!  Run like the the BIG RED BULLSEYE.  It's calling you hear it?  But please, DO NOT look immediately to your right when you walk through those sweet precious double doors that open so nice and automatically for you!  PLEASE DON'T!  For if you do, you will have one more lame excuse to come to TARGET...
We just won't go there!

What clever genius person thought to put a STARBUCKS store inside TARGET?!!  Evil...pure evil I tell you!  I'm not even a regular coffee drinker, and I just can't resist!  Got another theory for you...
The TARGET people and the STARBUCKS people are working together!  Think about it!  C'mon now...why else would STARBUCKS be inside TARGET?  It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out!  And get theory...hear me out...the lady on the STARBUCKS sign...she's helping out with that mind control thing!  SERIOUSLY!  Have you ever seen her?  Sure you have...every time you get a cup of that sweet goodness you can't help but stare at the logo and wonder, "what the crap is she all about?"  I'm telling you, they're working together.  BEWARE!  The first time you walk through the doors and look to the right (DON'T DO IT!), and you see STARBUCKS and take a big whiff of that fresh brewed will find yourself mindlessly walking through the TARGET doors and grabbing your cup of Joe and things will start flying into your basket at the speed of light!  WATCH OUT!  Don't let me get started on the Clearance stuff!  Okay, enough of my madness.  I really do have a problem.  If you love me, here are some ways you can help me (or someone you know...or yourself!).
 1. Please DON'T tell me you got it at TARGET!
2. PLEASE don't tell me you got it on CLEARANCE at TARGET!
3.  If I ask where you got it and it's from TARGET, don't lie to me (I hate lies), just ignore the question...I'm easily distracted...quickly start a new subject and talk really fast!
4.  Please NEVER ask me to go to TARGET with you!  We will no longer be won't like me anymore.  No really, I don't know when to leave.  I stay way too long!  For friendships' sake, please just DON'T!
5.  Please don't ask me to go to the STARBUCKS in TARGET.  C'mon...we know what that will lead to...SHOPPING!  Need I say more?
6.  Call me occasionally.  If I don't answer my home phone, QUICKLY call my cell phone.  Ask me if I'm at TARGETIf I am, tell me to leave.  :)
7.  Put my cell phone # on speed dial.  Thanks! ;)
8. NEVER, EVER bring up TARGET in a conversation with me...or anyone near me that's within earshot!  It causes me to get that know the one...where "I haven't been to TARGET in a while...hmmm!"   
And the cycle continues!!!
Okay, I'm sure my husband (and yours) will thank you if you follow these simple rules.  
The madness has to stop, People.  I can't go on like this.  I've become a "if I don't find it at one TARGET, I'll go to the 2 other TARGETS to get it in the same day," kind of gal.  I've got it bad I tell ya!  Is there a cure for this?  Seriously.  There is a worker at the TARGET by my house (4 minutes up the road...I've timed it!).  It's gotten this bad...this worker will see me sometimes once or twice a week and still ask, "Where have you been?  I haven't seen you in here latlely."  Yeah, they know me...they know my kids...they know how often I come.  Scary!  I'm wondering if there are others out there like me?  Don't suffer in silence.  We can talk about this!  If you're interested, maybe we can go shopping at TARGET and discuss it over a cup of WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA!!!  HA! ;)  
(Ya'll know I'm kidding, right?  I just love TARGET that's all!)
Go now.  Grab some coffee.  Shop.  Look at all the Clearance spots.   
Be Happy!
Please feel free to comment or tell me about your own TARGET stories.  I'd love to hear from you!


  1. Go to Walmart and get some Olive Leaf for your sinus trouble and you won't have to go to target for sinus many times has your MOTHER told you to start taking Olive Leaf? You just don't listen do you? Now you are in a mess...Target and Starbucks...shame on you...when will you ever say "I should have listened to my Mother!

  2. I too am in love with Target and I completely believe in your compelling theory!

  3. Oh my goodness Niki, I so understand! I absolutely LOVE Target and Starbucks! It's good if I haven't gone for a week or two because I don't have to think about all the cute things I see I see in there. Luckily the Target by our house does not have Starbucks in it, but it's right across the street lol! This was a great post. Thanks for sharing your Target addiction!:-)

  4. Momma-I'm still making my way to the health food store...oh, I mean online to buy some! "I should have listened to my Mother!" There, I said it! :)

  5. Sugako-I knew there was a reason I like you!!! Ha! Thanks for believing in me... ;)

  6. Janae-I should have guessed you liked Target! You are so stinkin' cute! You have such an eye for design and fashion. I'm glad I could share my addiction too, and it's good to know I'm not the only one!!! :)